Waiting for Trump

A play in an indeterminate number of acts about the Republican leadership and their relationship with their presidential candidate, based on you-know-what.

PAUL RYAN:
Another day done with.
REINCE PRIEBUS:
Not yet.
RYAN:
For me it’s over and done with, no matter what happens.
PRIEBUS:
(He reflects.) We could start all over again perhaps.
RYAN:
That should be easy.
PRIEBUS:
It’s the start that’s difficult.
RYAN:
You can start from anything.
PRIEBUS:
Yes, but you have to decide.
RYAN:
Inspiring prospects. (He turns to PRIEBUS.) Let’s go.
PRIEBUS:
We can’t.
RYAN:
Why not?
PRIEBUS:
We’re waiting for Trump to change his style and pivot to the center.
RYAN:
(despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You’re sure it was here?
PRIEBUS:
What?
RYAN:
That we were to wait.
PRIEBUS:
He didn’t say for sure he would.
RYAN:
And if he doesn’t?
PRIEBUS:
We’ll come back tomorrow.
RYAN:
And then the day after tomorrow.
PRIEBUS:
Possibly.
RYAN:
And so on.
PRIEBUS:
What do we do now?
RYAN:
Wait.
PRIEBUS:
Yes, but while waiting.
RYAN:
Don’t let’s do anything. It’s safer.
PRIEBUS:
Let’s wait and see what he says.
RYAN:
Who?
PRIEBUS:
Trump.
RYAN:
Good idea.
PRIEBUS:
Let’s wait till we know exactly how we stand.
RYAN:
On the other hand it might be better to strike the iron before it freezes.
PRIEBUS:
I’m curious to hear what he has to offer. Then we’ll take it or leave it.
RYAN:
What exactly did we ask him for?
PRIEBUS:
Were you not there?
RYAN:
I can’t have been listening.
PRIEBUS:
Oh . . . Nothing very definite.
RYAN:
A kind of prayer.
PRIEBUS:
Precisely.
RYAN:
A vague supplication.
PRIEBUS:
Exactly.
RYAN:
And what did he reply?
PRIEBUS:
That he’d see.
RYAN:
That he couldn’t promise anything.
PRIEBUS:
That he’d have to think it over.
RYAN:
In the quiet of his home.
PRIEBUS:
Consult his family.
RYAN:
His friends.
PRIEBUS:
His agents.
RYAN:
His correspondents.
PRIEBUS:
His books.
RYAN:
His bank account.
PRIEBUS:
Before taking a decision.
RYAN:
It’s the normal thing.
PRIEBUS:
Is it not?
RYAN:
I think it is.
PRIEBUS:
I think so too.
Silence.
RYAN:
(anxious). And we?
PRIEBUS:
I beg your pardon?
RYAN:
I said, And we?
PRIEBUS:
I don’t understand.
RYAN:
Where do we come in?
PRIEBUS:
Come in?
RYAN:
Take your time.
PRIEBUS:
Come in? On our hands and knees.
RYAN:
As bad as that?
AIDE:
(off). Mister!
RYAN halts. Both look towards the voice.
RYAN:
Off we go again.
Enter AIDE, timidly. He halts.
PRIEBUS:
You have a message from Mr. Trump?
AIDE:
Yes Sir.
PRIEBUS:
Well, what is it?
AIDE:
(in a rush). Mr. Trump told me to tell you he won’t pivot to the center this evening, but surely tomorrow.
Silence.
PRIEBUS:
Is that all?
AIDE:
Yes Sir.
Silence.
PRIEBUS:
All right, you may go.
AIDE:
What am I to tell Mr. Trump, Sir?
PRIEBUS:
Tell him . . . (he hesitates) . . . tell him you saw us. (Pause.) You did see us, didn’t you?
AIDE:
Yes Sir.
He steps back, hesitates, turns and exits running.
PRIEBUS:
We’ve nothing more to do here.
RYAN:
Nor anywhere else.
PRIEBUS:
Ah, don’t go on like that. Tomorrow everything will be better.
RYAN:
How do you make that out?
PRIEBUS:
Did you not hear what the aide said?
RYAN:
No.
PRIEBUS:
He said that Trump was sure to change his style tomorrow. (Pause.) What do you say to that?
RYAN:
Then all we have to do is to wait on here.
PRIEBUS:
We can still part, if you think it would be better.
RYAN:
It’s not worthwhile now.
Silence.
PRIEBUS:
No, it’s not worthwhile now.
Silence.
RYAN:
Well, shall we go?
PRIEBUS:
Yes, let’s go.
They do not move.

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2 thoughts on “Waiting for Trump

  1. Pingback: Mens vi venter på Trump | Langust og korsnebb

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